Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
