He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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