Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
