Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
