All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
