i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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