i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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