Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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