We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
