We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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