I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm too high and old for this...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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