Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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