9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
