Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
