I looked at my own cervix.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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