Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
