I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
