I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
