I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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