im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
