If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
