It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
