Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
