is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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