after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
