is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
third nipple confirmed
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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