Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
