matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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