Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
ttyl tear gas
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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