I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
