forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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