pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
