New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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