After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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