do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
