i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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