yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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