I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
