beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
