spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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