i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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