Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
