they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
