It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
