I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
