my vag is so smooth its legendary
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We smell like vodka and hangover
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