weddingsv make me drug and hornr
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
