also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
