Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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