She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
