ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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