Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
